I Exist - From my sleepy hollow...

l thought l would sleep on today, there wasnt a reason to get up early, all l would do is go on the computer, nothing would get done, so l just slept on.
Finally my tired old back said, l cant lay here anymore, we must get up, so l did. l rolled over to the side of the bed, placed my feet on the carpet, leveled them out, and sat up as straight as l could. l opened my eyes, blinked, and looked around at the level of light in my room. l looks like afternoon. l then attempted to stand, holding onto the wall, until my body balanced on my overworked feet, l leant against the wall for more balance.
l started around the bed to the bathroom, not feeling that l needed to, because l had been up several times in the last six hours of sleep.
The afternoon sun was pouring through my high windows, and l smiled.
Next l had to turn the cpap off, organise those pieces, and then around the old huge bed, and into the kitchen.
l pressed the button for the heater, opened the lounge window a little, then into the kitchen.
l put the coffee on, and then over to the computer, turned it on, and allowed it time to heat up...
All of a sudden it started to rain on my south windows! l looked a little closer, its hail! shut the windows, and watched for a bit while the coffee was perking and the puter was heating.
Rain looks lovely running down a window.
So back into the kitchen, and made the coffee, put on some toast and back to the puter.
l rang mum, cos she has an ear problem that makes her dizzy, and she has to take several stemitel...sp.. and if she doesnt get it in time, shes in bed. she got it in time. poor mum...shes seventy eight this year, and still fiesty.
dads just waiting for his right hip to slip out he says...yesterday he felt like ninety five instead of eighty four...
Okay, back to make the second coffee, take the pills.
lve decided l will do a course of B12..l do feel better for it.
and of course the diabetic pills metformin. l dont think theyre doing anything, but the dr says keep taking them.
l mean, if l behave, lm a normal number...l dont need the pills , but l shall do as lm told.
lve been taking lovan for over a decade now, and seem to be addicted to them, they do cut my stress and panicky feelings..so l take them. l have however again almost stopped the muralax, - muscle relaxents, although l cheated last night, and took half a one.
The hail stopped shortly after it began, and the afternoon sun came out, l silently laughed to myself, and said, phtt, melbourne.
Soon l shall start on the basic chores, and shower, and be ready for whatever the evening brings me.....it doesnt bring me much at all lol of late, but its nice to be clean and fresh, even if its just for me.
...

Telephone - poem -

Deep, Deep, Sleep.
Ringing bells invade!
Comfort disturbed...
Blackness.
Now pictures!
Where is the noise!
Climbing,climbing,
Over the edge,
Down on the floor.

Cold against my ear.
A loving familiar voice.
Lay back and collapse.
Voice in ear, close the eyes,
Let it talk, try and concentrate.
The voice asks a question!
Eyes! Open! Think! Oh! Mm!
Oh! Youre awake!
Throw the doona off
Thats tied around you,
Now youre up!
Now the voice wants to go.

You look at the pillow,
Then the window,
Now the clock,
Deep breath,
Try to stand.
Walk to the bathroom.

Eyes sticky,
Throat dry,
Back stiff.
Sit and organize the day.

Hot coffee,
Hot shower,
Warm clothes.
Sunny day,
l smile at the mirror,
And thank god
For another day.